Back to work tomorrow...

I'm having completely mixed emotions about going back to work tomorrow.  While I know that I probably couldn't be a stay at home mom full-time, I'm going to miss that little booger soooooo much.

I'm looking forward to some alone time, I'm just so afraid of missing all the fun things that will be happening.  Rolling over, giggles, crawling, whatever.  It's so hard to know that what's best for your family is for someone else to spend the day with the best thing that's ever happened to you.

But, I will be strong.  I can't promise I won't cry - and I'm sure this will all be harder on me than on Ezra.  He'll be in such good hands, with lots of love and attention.  What more could I ask for?

Plus, I do miss teaching.  I do miss not having to bring a baby to the bathroom with me.  I do miss socializing with other people at lunch.  I do miss getting a paycheck every two weeks. (word)

But I'm sure I will miss those little round cheeks even more.

So what do I do when I get anxious?? That's right folks, I make a list.  Control at it's finest.  So here's the "Crap I Need to Pack Every Day for the Babysitter" list.  Please let me know if I'm missing any essentials.

1. Diapers (I'm thinking 8 cloth should be enough, we'll see) and wipes
2. Sposies
3. wet bag for dirty dipes
4. 2 burp clothes
5. 2 bibs
6. 4 bottles
7. pacifier and wubbuNub
8. 2 changes of clothes
9. receiving blanket
10. thermometer
11. baby aspirin
12. gas drops and nasal drops
13. various small toys
14. baby torture device (aka - nasal aspirator suction thingy)
15. travel size lotion, baby soap, hand sanitizer

So say a prayer tomorrow morning at 7:15 that my sister and law won't have to rip the baby out of my clutches and I won't get into an accident on the way to work while hysterically crying and feeling guilty.