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Monday, June 20, 2011

Banished to Mommy Island

So apparently we were voted off of Fun and Free Island and sent here.  Most days I don't really mind because I'm so busy being a mom and teacher and maid and baby grower - often times I don't really think of anything but what is going on with me and my immediate family right at that moment.

Mike has been working 2 hours away from home every day so he leaves at 5am and doesn't return until 6 or 6:30 pm.  He doesn't have the energy to do much of anything (other than cook me dinner every night because he's the best) when he gets home from work.  Trips by friend's houses and favors for family, have pretty much died down from the constant way it was before Ezra.

Even making time to do things with just us three can be challenging - because sometimes the laundry is more important than the beach.  (I'm still not sure if I buy that but I know that I don't particularly like to wear dirty underwear so I guess I can at least wash those before I go to the beach).

But I think in the craziness of everything, sometimes it feels like we landed on some deserted island where no one without children wants to visit or hang out.  Like we have parenting leprosy.

I know this isn't a new phenomena in the world of parenting, I just didn't expect to be feeling it as deeply as I am.  We were the first in our circle of friends to have a baby - but I guess we never anticipated how that would change our social lives.  We expected everyone to still be the same while we changed.

It really hit me this weekend when my mom offered to babysit on Friday night, somewhat last minute.  I had no doubt in my mind that we could find at least one couple to go out to eat with or someone to hang out with.

No dice.

Dinner with  Mike was lots of fun and I appreciate that the same, it was just strange to keep thinking "well, what's so and so doing?" "Did you call whatshisname?" where usually we could find some poor soul to hang out with, it was impossible.  It's like we were erased from people's heads as a possibility of fun.

Apparently, we are so not cool anymore.

Or maybe it's just because we are off in such a different direction, alone, with only a few friends with children (who are all too busy to make last minute plans, this I understand).  People don't ask us to do things because we always say no unless we have enough time to finagle a babysitter - and then we are usually asleep by 10pm.

We used to have friends over just about every weekend, even just to do nothing.  No one really stops by anymore.  And that dang laundry just keeps getting in the way.

I've come to the conclusion that we need to make new friends, in addition to the oldies, who already hang out on Mommy Island.  Who want to make plans far enough in advance to find a babysitter.  Who don't mind if you have spit up on your shirt at a nice restaurant.  Who understand if you have to cancel last minute.

It just makes me sad and a little anxious (what are you suprised?).  I'm not good at the small talk, get to know you conversations.  I always say awkward things, and interrupt, and I'm just overly self-conscious and end up sounding like a thirteen year old boy trying to ask a girl to the Homecoming Dance.  All stuttering and oversharing and sweating.  It's not cute.

If you actually know me in person, you know that I often duck out of parties and events before this type of situation occurs.  I don't like meeting new people.  I'm sure it makes me look like a total snot bag who thinks she's to good for everyone, but really I'm just so afraid of looking like a moron that I'd rather just say nothing.

So I'm hoping in these summer months to try and get some moms together at the house with kids and see if I can forge some new friendships and figure out how to feel a little more connected to the world outside of my family.  But now I'm totally afraid everyone will think I'm a freak and not want to come...  It's a vicious cycle.

So, I'm not sure exactly where I'm going with this post, other than a total awkward overshare...

Anybody on Mommy Island with Me? Have you escaped? Found a path back to the other side?  Made friends with the natives? 

Friday, June 17, 2011

Giggles and Crawling

So this video is from about 2 months ago, but I love it!  Basically the dogs are "playing" although it sounds like they might be trying to kill each other, and Ezra can't stop laughing.  It's so cute

This video was from a few weeks ago.  Ezra had pretty much just figured out how to crawl without dragging his legs behind him.  He's quite the speed demon!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Deja Vu...

So, if you haven't heard Em & M are expecting baby number 2 this December!! EEEK!  We were a little *ahem* surprised at the quickness of this development, seeing that it took a year and a half for Ezra.

That being said, we are THRILLED to add a new member to our family!  We're also FRIGHTENED at how difficult it may be at first, but we know that others have come before us and survived so we will, too.  Possibly sacrificing some of our sanity in the process, but isn't that what parenting is?

Here's a picture of the newest em&m from my first ultrasound at 10 weeks:

So we'll be back on board with the almost weekly updates (hey, no one's perfect)!

How far along? 15 weeks

Weight gain/loss: At my last appointment I was up 3 pounds... although it feels like 23

Maternity clothes? All the time, there is no doubt that I look pregnant.  Round belly, stickly legs, larger boobs.  I've tried to wear some of my non maternity stuff, but who am I kidding?  I do not need to feel like a sausage all day and I'm sure I look ridiculous when I do it.

Stretch marks? Of course.  Ezra's stretch marks are now turning purple again.  (I'm hoping no one just threw up their lunch with that visual).  All I can say is that I hope they don't get worse...

Sleep? Sleep is good... I am having very vivid anxiety inducing dreams.  For example, last night I was chasing someone and trying to attack them.  I don't remember why, but I woke up feeling a little worried.  I had vivid dreams with Ezra, but not anxious dreams.  So I will say that it doesn't always feel like restful sleep.

To be completely honest though, I do go to bed between 9 and 9:30.  So I'm getting more than enough sleep!

Best moment this week? Probably having to explain to my students why you shouldn't ask any woman, no matter how obviously pregnant she is, if she's having a baby.  They had a difficult time understanding why that was a problem (see photo below) but it was funny to watch their faces drop when I told them that sometimes people can look pregnant and not be, so basically they just told me that I look fat.  I did have a little fun and wait until the end of the conversation to tell them that I was in fact having another baby.  Maybe that was a little mean, but it made me laugh!

Food cravings: Mike makes the most delicious cooked carrots.  I could eat them all day.  Basically they are just steamed with butter but I swear I've never eaten such delicious carrots... I hope I can convince him to make some for dinner...

Gender: Ack, who knows?  I have no real feeling one way or the other.

Belly button in or out? In and cavernous.  Seriously, you could spelunk in there .  I'll get you a head lamp (That's cave exploration in case you were going to google that word).  I think it's just stretched out from Ezra, but I've never seen such a big belly cave.

Movement? If I lay really still and think about it, sometimes.  But what working mother of a 7 month old has time to sit still and think about it? Not I!  I'm either chasing a crawling baby or trying not to fall asleep in my dinner.  So I'll probably notice more once he or she is making direct hits to a major organ.

What I miss? I'm going to be honest, this weekend we went to Storyland in New Hampshire (which is basically a theme park for little kids) and of course Bike Week is this week so we saw lots of bikes.  I'm desperately missing riding my motorcycle... BUT, I would not change anything.

What I'm looking forward to: The end of school - don't tell my principal.  I'm so done with school.  I can't wait for a change of pace.  I will be working half days 3 days a week at summer school, but I shouldn't really have to sacrifice much beach/pool/park/Ezra time so it's ok.  And I can bank some money in savings ;)

Weekly wisdom: Today I am pregnant, and I love my baby.

Milestones: I'm in the second trimester, that's exciting!

Here's a 15 week belly shot: