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Friday, August 21, 2009

Back in town with a new attitude!

Just got back from our trip to Disney (if we can't have a kid, why not be a kid, right?) and I feel completely renewed. We got to eat whatever we wanted, got lots of walking exercise, and got to relax and spend time together. It was great! (I forgot how much more fun non-baby-making sex is, ::giggles::)

We also had time to discuss what we think will be happening in our future. It has been difficult for me to get my mind off of TTC; any thoughts that I had were entirely negative. It was nice just to say it out loud to the hubs and for him to be able to respond. We talked about what we would do once we get to the doctors, how soon we would think of alternate treatments, how much money we would consider spending, and how we feel about it all. We also tried to come up with as many smart-@ss responses to the "when will you have kids" questions as we could. At least now when people ask, I'll have a reason to smile!

We haven't made any definite decisions but it is nice to know that we are on the same page, and the pressure is off until October 1st when I go to the doctor. We are both still young and have plenty of time. There is no reason to rush, which is an entirely new feeling for me. I felt like we were running out of time, but we really aren't. Hell, Celine Dion is over 40 and knocked up, that gives us a good 15 years! (hopefully, we don't need it, :P)

I think the hubs is starting to hit a wall, though. He keeps saying how unfair it is for everyone else to get pregnant quickly but when we waited to get our lives in order, now that we are ready, we're having issues. He is starting to realize how difficult it can be to be happy for others but sad for yourself and how hard it is not to think "Why are we being punished!" It's funny to hear him describe all of the emotions that I have been trying to explain for the last few months and it is even more essential for me to be the ray of sunshine. If we're both depressed, we're doomed.

I actually feel relieved. Like I can breath and not live life by CDwhatever, OPK's and cervical mucus... at least for right now.

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